Monday, February 6, 2012

Confessions of a former skinny girl

**DISCLAIMER: I know I am not "fat". I know millions of people seriously struggle with their weight, health, and well being. I am fortunate enough not to be in that situation. However, I believe that everyone, no matter what your size, can aspire to be in a healthier place.**

You may now continue to read.

My entire life, I was skinny. I never played sports and I never went on a diet. I was never particularly active or healthy, but I was blessed to be skinny.  In high school, I wore a size 2 (a little loosely, I might add) and my go to shirt size was XS. I flaunted my tiny waist in Victoria's Secret bathing suits. I wore tiny little shorts. Tight fitting tops were no problem. My senior prom dress is a size XXS.  I remember driving in a friends jeep and he told me that I was his skinniest friend. When I bought my wedding dress (in  mid-2010) it was a size two and way too big.  O, how life was good.

Exhibit A: My Junior Prom

Exhibit B: Freshman year of college

Now before you hate me and stop reading....let me tell you how things have changed.

After the hey-day of my skinniness, my junior year of college started. At that time, I began working full time, going to school full time, planning a wedding AND I turned 21.

Skinny Nicole GONE.

I ate when I could fit it in my busy schedule. And I ate what was handy. Chips, cookies, life saving caffinated soda....these became my go-to items. And since I was stressed (from my wedding, mostly), I only wanted to eat more comfort food.  AND I turned 21. Hello, beer, wine, and other empty liquid calories that make me so happy.

Like I said. Skinny Nicole went bye-bye. Remember my size two wedding dress...? Yea...it had to be let out TWICE!

So here I am. Two years from when I was my thinnest and now I am the heaviest I have ever been. And it doesn't feel good. I actually welcomed the first 10 pounds I gained. It made me finally feel like a woman, as opposed to a girl. But 10 turned to 15 and then 25 and then....you get where I am going.

All of that brings me to now. I weigh 30 more pounds than it says I do on my drivers license that I got when I turned 18. And I do not like it. I don't feel like myself. I don't feel  healthy. I don't feel good. (And I kind of look 3 months pregnant).

Therefore, I have decided enough is enough. I am going to start (slowly) changing my lifestyle. Beginning with getting active and working out! I just ordered this DVD because I heard great things from friends. I think I can handle making time for 30 minutes a day and I get to work out in my living room. I have high hopes for this plan.

I am also trying NOT to have my afterwork beer/class of wine, but this has been hard to give up. (I may or may not be drinking a Shock Top Raspberry right now). Baby steps, right?

 And finally, and probably most difficultly, I need to start watching what/how I eat. This is going to be the hardest part, I KNOW. I have always eaten what I want, when I want. BUT...my body can't handle McDonalds at midnight like it used to. Not looking forward to this AT ALL...I really like food. I really like junk food. Perhaps if I get to working out, I can still have my lovely fattening, sugary, fried goodness? Doubtful. But, this step will come later. When I am more prepared.

So this is the new journey I am on. I'll keep the world posted to my successes and inevitable failures.

Nicole

1 comments:

  1. Gosh, here I am again... another post I can identify with! I remember buying size 2 jeans when I met my husband and I too was fine with the first 10lbs I gained... in fact my husband was so glad I did he said I looked sickly skinny at one point. Then I guess I got fat and happy during those 1st two married years... and some more packed on (*tear) and year 3 I got preggo and worked up until the day I delivered so I was not one of those get on the treadmill every while preggo women... no I gained ALOT. Thankfully I lost alot of it post baby BUT I still have 30lbs to go if I want to be my "wedding" weight. Right before I found out I was preggo I started that same video -it's awesome and I think works... make sure to stretch though really good... I unfortunately went straight into and then pulled a muscle and had to get Phy Therapy for a month, probably because I was that out of shape! You can do it... we both can... well I can't give up wine, so props to you if you can!! :)

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