Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A long and heavy post about what I want in life

So I might have had a slight (or major) melt-down this semester.

I do a really good job of putting on a happy face for the world, but on the inside, I may have lost it (just a little bit)...

In the aftermath of this melt down, I met with my advisor, who might possibly be the nicest/smartest/wisest man on the face of this planet. I told him that I wasn't really sure just WHAT I want to do anymore...that I generally just feel lost in the world. And he asked me a very important question...

If I had a whole day to do anything I wanted, what would I do?

I told him I had no idea. I didn't know at the time. But after some thought, I have come up with 2 things I could do 24/7.

First, I LOVE to help and interact with people. I love my job because every single day, I get the chance to help someone. I love talking to people. I love smiling and making someone's day. I love my older customers who just want to have a conversation. I love the toddlers mothers bring in. I love to wave and smile at them. I love talking to them and them looking at me like I was the first person in the entire world who spoke to them. I love to make people feel important. I love teaching and informing. I love when someone asks my advice and I am able to give them an honest, informative and positive response. I love the look of gratitude I get when I help out someone who is short some change. I love when my customers are truly thankful for the service I give them. All of this makes me feel so blessed and rewarded.

And second, I love to cook. I am NOT a master chef by any means, but I love to stand over the stove and make something. My repetoire of recipes is pretty limited (because of the college student budget I am on) but I dream of the day when I can buy exotic ingredients and use professional grade cutlery. Cooking helps me calm down. Cooking lets me clear my mind. Cooking lets my express myself. Cooking just might turn out to be my great love in life.

It's nice to have an answer to such a big question. I think the desire to help people is what drives me to want to be a teacher. After seeing the rough road my husband had during student teaching, I seriously questioned my commitment to becoming a teacher. But I know that I want to help kids. I want them to learn. Even if they can't conjugate a single French verb after my class, I want to arm them with the skills they will need to be competitive in our global society. I want to help them. Giving them a solid education is the best way I know how to help.

And cooking? Well, that's for me and my family. Helping people is my profession. Cooking is the hobby that I lose myself in. If I can find the balance between teaching/family/cooking, I will be the happiest woman in the world.


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