Yesterday I sat down to write an update post about Thanksgiving and my time in my home town. I got distracted from my post and never finished it enough to publish it. I assumed I would just come back to it later on in the evening and go on my way.
I still intend to publish such a post, but last night changed my plans.
Last night I got a phone call to tell me that one of my close friends from high school had died. I couldn't believe it. I had to get the person on the phone to repeat it three times before my mind comprehended what she was telling me. I still don't really believe it.
Caleb and I had the same core group of friends in high school. We were a loosely connected group of mutual friends, some closer than others, but we were in the same clubs, went to the same parties and literally had almost every single class together. Trey was an integral part of that group.
We all went away to college and grew apart as our lives took us all in separate directions, but through the wonders of Facebook, we could always check in on each other. No, we don't all talk much anymore, but I could tell you who got married, who went to medical school, and who has a "real" job now. I thought I knew what was going on in everyone's lives.
But that's the funny thing about people, myself included. We only post what we want to the world to know. We post our triumphs, not our failures. Our happiness, not our sadness. Our hopes, not our shattered dreams.
So to say I knew what was going on in Trey's life is a lie. I had no idea. And it breaks my heart.
We're still young, my group of friend. We still think nothing can happen to us. We plan out our whole lives because of course we have another good 50 years, at least. Sadly, it takes a tragedy to remind us that we are not infinite. We are not invincible.
Death has never been, nor will it ever be, easy for anyone. But this is especially hard. I know it's sad when a great aunt passes away or a friend of a friend's mom...but this is different. This was someone so young and so full of potential. I knew one day I would be voting for Trey to be state senator or enrolling one of my kids in his college polysci class, he just had that in him.
It's hard to accept what has happened. I can't imagine what his family must feel. That breaks my heart, too.
Sorry to be a downer on a Monday morning, but I needed to write this. I needed to start making sense of how this makes me feel. And if everyone could just take a moment and be thankful for all their friends, new or old, that would be great.