Friday, November 15, 2013

When it gets hard

O man, being a mom is hard. Hard on your body. Hard on your mind. And especially hard on your heart. I love my baby so incredibly much, it feels like I might explode. 

But you know that. What they don't tell you about motherhood is that sometimes, when you've barely slept and the baby refuses to take his bottle even though you know he is hungry and he fights and fusses with you, sometimes you get frustrated. Frustrated, angry, upset. Not at your baby specifically but just overwhelmed at this whole motherhood thing. That even though you love your baby more than life itself, sometimes you just want to tell him to shut up. Sometimes you just want to have two hours to take a nap without worrying if the baby will wake you up. Sometimes you want to go out with friends. Sometimes you want down time with your husband, Netflix, and a bottle of wine (the whole bottle, not just one glass). 

It's hard. You get selfish. You cry. You even yell sometimes. And then you feel absolutely terrible for feeling any of these things. Which doesn't help the anger or crying. 

But you take a deep breath. You look down at that sweet baby (who finally went to sleep) and remember he is so innocent and he loves and needs you so much right now. You remember that you are so incredibly blessed that you even have this amazing boy at all. That so many women can't have babies or lose their babies. 

And suddenly, being a mom isn't such a burden anymore. Sure, it's still hard, but you remember it is all so so so worth it. Even the hard parts. 

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