Thursday, December 19, 2013

A rant on my baby's needs

I'm typing this with one hand while my baby drifts off to sleep in my arms. We are snuggled close, rocking in the rocking chair. These are my favorite moments. My baby is peaceful in my arms. He can hear my heart beat. We keep each other warm. He knows he is safe. I wouldn't trade the time I spend rocking my baby for anything. 

But there is a bit of controversy. You see, Wilson is a high needs baby. (Please go google Dr. Sears and the high needs baby. It describes Wilson to a t). He needs to be held about 75% of his waking hours and 100% during his napping hours. So I hold him sometimes 12 hours a day. Not most days, but some. If he is in a bad mood or especially clingy, I hold him. It's the only thing that will calm him. It's the only way he naps. We rock and rock and rock. It's what makes him happy. 

It's been suggested by just about everyone (my husband included) that I have spoiled wilson. That if I would just put him down, he would get used to it. That I can't hold him forever. That he only cries because he knows that he will be held. 

And it makes me so dang mad. No one knows my baby like I do. I know everyone means well, but they don't know my baby. They don't know the type of parent I want to be. They don't know our bond. 

Wilson wants to be held because it comforts him. He is an infant, so he doesn't have ulterior motives. He only knows that he needs to be held. He needs support and comfort. I can give him those things. Yes, that means I have to sacrifice by being stuck in a rocking chair hours at a time, but I'm ok with that. I'm lucky that I get to stay home with Wilson. I am capable of meeting his every need, so why shouldn't I? 

I don't believe in letting him cry. I think he is far too little to deny his needs. He doesn't know why he needs to be held, but he does know he needs his mom right now. He needs me. He doesn't understand that it's not a life or death situation. To him and his infant brain,it is. For whatever reason, he needs to be held like he needs his bottle. It's that important to him. 

So I hold him. And I will continue to hold him as long as he needs me to. One day, he won't need me to hold him. He will go off on his own. But he will be confident that his mom will always be there to hold him, if he needs it. Whether he is 2 or 22 or 52, I will always be there to hold and comfort my baby. As much as he needs, for as long as he needs. 

This got a little ranty so,sorry for that. I am not being critical of anyone. I know everyone is trying to help and I'm grateful to have everyone's opinions. 

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