Friday, December 12, 2014

Wilson -- 15 months

Hey there, little blog! I haven't forgotten about you, I swear. Life has just been so crazy these past few weeks. Between holidays, MOVING, having company, finals, and a 15 month old, I've been a little too exhausted at night to write anything. But I'll be back when life settles down. 

I do really want to post Wilson's 15 month post. I missed 14 months and I feel like he has grown tons between 13 and 15 months. 

- I have no idea how much he weighs or how tall he is. Somewhere around 27 pounds, probably. 

- Wearing mostly 2t shirts and 18 month pants. 

- Still in size 5 diapers. He leaks out of his diaper every single night and it is driving me crazy! The kid pees so much at night! 

- Wilson has days where he loves food and is a mini garbage disposal, then some days he won't eat two bites. His favorite foods are yogurt, cheese, hot dogs, veggie burgers, and waffles. 

- Wilson finally started saying "real" words. He uses hi/hey, uh-oh, and bye correctly and frequently. He also knows tons of animal sounds (dog, horse, sheep, duck, kangaroo, fish, crocodile, tiger, monkey, elephant probably more I'm forgetting). His babbling sounds more and more like words. He can say mom and dad (no mama or dada for this kid)  but only if we prompt him. 

- He is loving singing and dancing now. I'm the worlds worst singer, but Wilson loves for me to sing him songs. He "sings" with me and sways to "dance". His favorite song is by far The ABC Song. I'll ask Wilson if he wants to sing his ABCs and he will "sing" A....B.... 

- Wilson is obsessed with Elmo. He will watch Elmo for 10 times longer than any other show. He can hear Elmo's voice from across the house and will come running when he hears it. 

- Tantrums. They happen daily. Full blown screaming, tuning red, throw down on the floor tantrums. I think most of them are frustration based and I try to help Wilson calm down as best I can, but they are rough. 

- To counter balance the tantrums, Wilson is becoming so affectionate. He will usually give anyone a kiss if they ask for it. My favorite, though, is when he just randomly runs up to me and give me a kiss and hug. It makes me melt and there is no better feeling. 

- I think we are in the midst of a sleep regression. Wilson was going down for naps and bedtime with no crying or fussing, but for the last few weeks, he has been majorly crying. I've had to rock him to sleep several times. Hopefully it's just a stage and I secretly don't mind getting to hold and rock him again. 

- Likes: Elmo, playing outside, coloring, the Christmas tree, baths

- Dislikes: diaper changes, being away from mom, not getting his way

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Wilson -- 13 months

The month of September flew by in such a flash. I'm several days late on this because I didn't realize we are already well into the month of October. Slow down, time!

- Wilson weighed 25 pounds and 8 ounces at the doctor's office. He is 33 (!!!) inches tall, which means he is a freakishly tall 13 month old. I think he has a long torso and his legs from his knees to ankles are quite long. 

- He is wearing 2t shirts and 18 month pants. 

- He eats 3 meals plus a snack every day. He is down to a cup of milk just twice a day. 

- He goes to bed around 9 and wakes up between 8:30 and 10. He wakes up at a different time every day. He takes one nap from 12:30 to 3:30ish. 

- Wilson got sick for the first time this month. It sucked. 

- He still isn't saying words but he is babbling lots and the babbling is sounding closer to words. 

- He now grabs my hand or shirt and guides me to what he wants me to do. 

- He uses a fork when he eats now. He isn't particularly good at getting things onto his fork, but he does well getting it into his mouth. He loves using it. 

- Likes: Blues Clues, animals, eating, outside, books

- Dislikes: diaper changes, being told no, 

Monday, October 6, 2014

The most magical weekend

I used to write coherent, themed, intelligent posts about semi-intresting things. One of these days, I'm going to get back to that. Today is not that day. 

Wilson finally got over his virus. He is back to his happy, sweet, on the go self. 

Caleb and I spent our weekend in Louisville at our friends' wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and an amazing reception. There was an open bar and I took a little too much advantage of it. Regardless, it was such fun. 

Sunday, we spent the day in Starkville. We walked around campus and ha lunch with my brother. I adore college campuses. 

Speaking of college, Mississippi had an amazing weekend of football. I seriously cried when I saw the ole miss score. It is JUST football, but I am so glad Mississippi is getting so much positive national press. Saturday was an amazing, magical, special day. 

Saturday, September 27, 2014


Today is Pig Pickin', Delta State's biggest party/tailgate/football game of the year. It is always so much fun. We even have two tickets for BBQ contest sample plates. 

But we aren't going. 

Yesterday around noon, Wilson broke out in a rash all over his chest, back, neck, and head. I, of course, freaked out thinking it was yet another terrible reaction from his vaccines. Dr. Google told me he either had a mild case of the measles or was about start having seizures from a vaccine allergy. I called Wilson's doctor and demanded we be seen that afternoon. 

After spending all day at the doctor, we found out Wilson has the roseola virus. I'd never heard of this before but it fit Wilson's symptoms perfectly. A sudden high fever (check), days of lethargy (check), loss of appetite (check), irritability (check), red, swollen eyes (check), and finally, a rash on the trunk of the body (check). What I thought was a reaction to his vaccinations was actually this unrelated, random virus that he must have picked up at the doctors office Monday (damn germy kids). 

I'm glad that it wasn't some severe reaction to his vaccinations but it still sucks. Since it's a virus, there really isn't anything to do but let it run it's course. He is still covered in a rash, but thankfully it isn't itchy. He still feels like crap, as evidenced by his terrible mood, but according to the doctor, he should be feeling better by Monday. If not, we have to go back. 

On top of that, thanks to the germy kids in the doctors office, I am sick. Sore throat, head cold, achy sick. It sucks. The only thing worse than a sick baby is taking care of a sick baby while I'm sick, too. 

So we are missing Pig Pickin this weekend. We took Wilson last year when he was just a few weeks old and I really wanted to make a tradition of taking him. But I guess that's the way parenthood goes. 

At least we can cheer on our rebels from the comfort of our couch. 

Thursday, September 25, 2014

That time I almost became an anti vaxxer

Wilson had 5 shots Monday at his one year well check. Five fucking shots. Seven different immunizations. Seven. It was horrible. Just terrible. I knew he would be getting shots, but five??!!?? That is a lot for a little person. 

Wilson has never had any bad reactions to shots before. He doesn't run fever or have soreness or be especially whiney. He has never had any side effects. 

So even though his little body was poked in every limb, I figured he would be ok. Man, I underestimated. 

Monday night Wilson was a little clingy, but nothing major. We gave him a preventative dose of Tylenol around 8 and put him to bed. Around 3, I heard Wilson whimper but he quieted down quickly until around 4. He started really crying so I went to check on him. When I went to him was one of the scariest and most upsetting moments of motherhood I have had so far. 

Wilson's checks were bright red. He was drenched in sweat. I mean clothes and sheets soaked in sweat. He was on his belly and couldn't move. His limbs hurt so much he couldn't move. Literally. When I picked him up he screamed in pain. And he was BURNING up. 

I was terrified. Wilson has never been sick, so this was the first time I had ever seen my child not well. I felt so panicked and helpless. My adrenaline kicked in and  I left like I went into mama bear mode. 

First we striped his clothes and checked all over his body. Thankfully no rashes or severe swelling. I took Wilson's temperature as best as he would let me and it climbed up to 102. 102. So so so scary. 

I grabbed some water in his cup and a cool wash rag and tried to calm Wilson by rocking him. I made Caleb call the 24 nurse line. A super nice nurse talked us through what is considered "normal" for vaccine reactions. He told us to give pain/fever meds every 4 hours and call the doctor in the morning. 

Wilson slept in our bed the rest of the night. Right next to me. There was no way I was letting him out of my sight. He slept very fitfully for several hours. And he sweat so much. I was soaked. But finally around 8, he fell into a good sleep and slept until nearly noon. 

On Tuesday, he was so sore he couldn't hardly move. He wouldn't put weight on his legs or turn over. Even the lightest touch sent him into tears. He took a four and a half hour nap that day. He moped and laid around all day and night and ran a 99 degree fever most of the day. 

Wednesday he seemed better, at least physically. The fever went away and much of the soreness seemed to be gone. He was still mopey and whiney but he had a bit more energy. 

Today, he still doesn't quite seem back to his old self. He wanted to be held a lot. He sat in my lap and watched Daneil Tiger for nearly an hour, which NEVER happens. He doesn't have hardly any appetite. He cries over nothing. He looks really sullen and tired, even after his 3 hour nap. He is just off. 

As a mom, it is hard to see my baby in pain. It's hard to know he doesn't feel well. I want more than anything in the world to make it better. 

I know Wilson is so incredibly lucky to live in a place where vaccines are easily and readily available. I also know that watching my baby suffer from the measles or the flu would be a million times worse than dealing with the side effects of the immunizations. I love vaccines. I think they are great. 

But I almost understand why some parents don't give them to their children. These side effects Wilson has are pretty serious, but considered "normal". I have a hard time with feeling like my baby burning up with fever is normal. It is hard. I'm not advocating not vaccinating, but I can see how someone less informed (or misinformed) could  see these side effects and think "no way". 

Hopefully Wilson will be feeling back to normal soon. I miss my happy, rambunctious little boy. I'm also contemplating making him a bubble boy because I never want him to be sick ever again. It is the absolute worst. 

Monday, September 22, 2014

Marital advice from Jesus

Let me start by saying, I am certainly not the most religious person. I enjoy going to church on Christmas and Easter but I'm not exactly sure what my beliefs are. Rationally, I don't really believe in te tenants of Christianity (or any religion) but on an emotional level, I am often moved by church services. Sometimes, I feel like perhaps I should write off religion completely, but I feel like that emotional pull is there for some reason. Who knows. What I'm trying so say is that I am by no means knowledgeable about god/Jesus/the bible/the church/Christianity. This post is just purely my feelings and observations. 

Tonight in my theology class, we were dissecting the gospel of Luke. Specifically, we were discussing the parable of the Good Samaritan. Of course I had heard the story a million times growing up, but I had honestly never given it too much thought. In the story, a man asks Jesus how to get into heaven (or something like that) and Jesus reminds the man of the Hebrew law that states to love ones neighbor as oneself. The man then asks Jesus "well, who is my neighbor?" To which Jesus responds with the parable of the Good Samaritan. 

The key here, which had previously sailed  over my head, is what Jesus doesn't say. He does not tell the man who the neighbor is, but instead, how the man himself should be the good neighbor. Essentially saying don't worry about who you need to love, just love. Love everyone. 

Here, my professor interjected saying that this is one of the key teachings of Jesus. The idea of loving everyone. Giving without receiving. Putting the other before the self. 

This immediately made me think of my husband. Life has been hectic for us lately. I feel like we are under constant stress. There is never enough time in the day. Caleb often stay up past midnight working on homework. We are lucky to have enough time for a quick kiss and cuddle at the end of the day. 

Because of all this stress and lack of down time, we often find ourselves quickly annoyed and angered. We argue more than I would like. I sometimes feel hurt by our lack of communication and Caleb often feels frustrated. It is hard on us as a couple. 

One thing that I have recently been trying is the very thing Jesus was talking about. I try my very hardest to love Caleb, even if I don't feel like he is deserving at that moment. 

We had a section of Collisians read at our wedding that mentions love, forgiveness, gentleness, and kindness. At the time, I probably did not understand what that meant, to continually give forgiveness and kindness. But I'm starting to see. 

Caleb makes me annoyed or angry a lot. Probably on a daily basis. It is my human nature to want to express that anger. And before recently, I would. We would argue and eventually apologize, but both our days were ruined by the fight. After so many of these blow ups, I decided to do a little self reflecting. And I realized that while I cannot make Caleb stop being so fucking irritating sometimes, I can stop my primal response. I do not have to respond with anger. My mantra has become "Kindness."  

I now try to be gentle and loving, despite how I may be feeling on the inside. And honestly, fake it til I make it. When Caleb is upset or hurt or angry, I remind myself that I can show my love for my husband most effectively in these moments by giving him grace and kindness and gentleness. 

By no means is this easy. I constantly fail. It is hard to put myself second. It is hard to be patient and kind and gentle. 

I am certainly NOT saying I put on a fake smile for my husband and never tell him how I feel. That is just as harmful as arguing. But when tensions are high, like they often are around here these days, I'm learning that the best thing I can do for my marriage is to love. Without discrimination. I let things go. I let my pride and ego go. 

My professor also said something in this discussion of the Good Samaritan that really hit me. He said that we have absolutely no way of knowing if anyone loves us. BUT we are able to give all our love to everyone. The beauty is not in recieving love, but giving love. I certainly hope Caleb loves me, but that really isn't the point. The point, the thing that makes life worth living, is that I love him wholly and completely. There is something special, maybe even holy or sacramental, in that vulnerability. The whole idea of the dying of the self for the sake of the other. That's big, heavy stuff and it feels important to me. 

So I never would have guessed I would have found such meaning and wisdom from the Bible. Especially not marital advice. But it has shown me that the constant grace I strive to give my husband is meaningful and beautiful. 

Friday, September 19, 2014

Ten on Thursday?

 1. We are going to Desoto county tomorrow for my high school best friend's wedding. I'm so excited for her. She was always so creative and artsy, I know her wedding will be beautiful.

2.  We are also FINALLY getting some professional pictures of Wilson taken. I'm excited but I still have no idea what he should wear. What to do when your baby looks adorable in everything? 

3. Wilson has napped in his crib for 2+ hours every day this week! Praise baby Jesus. He cried for about 5 minutes everyday but settles down and takes a good nap. I have no idea what to do with all me new free time. 

4. I finished Breaking Bad. I told my brother (who is obsessed) that though I didn't like the show, I'm glad I watched it. If that makes sense. 

5. My sister in law came and spent the weekend with us last week. It was so fun to have another girl around. I'm so excited she is grown up and we can start being real friends soon.

6. I'm really worried about the future of Delta State. The administration is planning on cutting 10 majors, one of them the French program (my undergrad major). I'm not going to get started (because I would go on for daaaayyysss) but it makes me so sad to see such terrible changes happening in a place I hold so dearly. At this rate, I'm afraid I just couldn't be ok with Wilson attending his parents alma mater. That's sad.

7. Speaking of school, I'm changing my graduate focus (if we stay in cleveland long enough for me to finish my degree). I'm currently on the gender studies MALS track but I'm switching to theology. Not because I'm super in to theology, but because it has fewer required classes and allows me to choose from much more varied electives. Plus I get my old advisor from undergrad, who I LOVE, back. I get the same degree no matter which track I'm on. 

8. We have been having nightly outside family time now that it isn't a million degrees outside. I love it. Wilson has several balls that we just kick and throw around the yard while Wilson runs in circles. He really loves chasing the cats around the yard, too.  It's so fun and always wears Wilson out. 

9. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is coming up in less than a month! Holy moly. To me, it feels like we have been married a whole lot longer than 3 years. I'm not sure of that is a good or bad sign. I told Caleb all I want for our anniversary is to have my rings resized. They haven't fit since about my 4th month of pregnancy. I'm ready to wear them again without them cutting off circulation to my finger! 

10. I need a new show to watch on netflix or amazon prime. I keep watching The Wire and Greys Anatomy, which I have seen 12739473 times each. Gilmore Girls, the show that defined my teenage years, is coming to netflix October 1, so I'll be rewatching all of that, but I need a more serious show to balance things out. 

I guess technically this is 11, but I got new makeup a few weeks ago and it makes me feel like a million bucks. My eyeshadow/eyelash game is on point, if I do say so myself. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

A day in the life #3

Ah. Life with a 1 year old. Chaotic. Stressful. Fun. Exciting. Tiring. Joyful. I have never been so tired but I've also never been more happy. Here is our daily schedule. 

9:30- I wake up. Check email, make coffee, take the dog out, lounge until Wilson wakes up. 

10:00- Wilson wakes up. I know, I KNOW. I am BEYOND lucky Wilson sleeps so late. 

10:15- Wilson and I cuddle on the couch while he drinks his milk and I have my coffee. We watch some Sesame Street or Daniel Tiger. 

10:30-11:15- Play time. 

11:15-12:15- Caleb comes home for lunch. Wilson has "brunch" while we eat lunch. 

12:45- Wilson gets sleepy so I put him in his crib for a nap. He cries a little but falls asleep in minutes. 

1-3:15- Nap time! Also known as FREE TIME FOR MOM! I do homework, chores, have another cup of coffee, watch tv, and maybe even take a little nap. It's awesome! 

3:15- Wilson wakes up. 

3:30- Wilson has lunch. 

3:45-4:30- play time! 

4:30- cup of milk

5:00- Caleb comes home from work. 

5-6:30- play time. Usually outside time and play time with daddy. 

6:45-7:00- dinner! 

7:30- short walk around the block

8:15- bath time and pajama time 

9:00- another cup of milk

9:15- in bed and asleep

Some days I feel a little guilty because I have such awesome "work" hours. I'll admit, this stage feels a lot easier than the baby stages. Wilson has more and more independence and autonomy every day. He is super mischievous, but he is such fun to be with. I really do love it. 

Friday, September 12, 2014

I'd like some cheese to go with my whine

I am so freaking tired. We have had zero down time in over 2 weeks and I am on empty. This post is probably going to be whiney. Forgive me. 

We took a disastrous trip to Pearl Tuesday night/Wednesday. We left cleveland much later than we intended. My iPhone GPS is a moron and took us to the wrong place. The hotel seriously fucked up our room. Caleb realized at 11pm he had a homework assignment due at 8am. Wilson did not want to sleep. Everything went wrong. The whole point of Wilson and me going with Caleb was to have a fun time together. No fun was had by anyone. We did manage to go by Old Navy and TJ Maxx and score some deals. I guess that made the trip worth it. Kinda. Not really. 

I ordered Wilson a Christmas shirt with his name on it and some Christmas pajamas. The shirt is size 2t but it is TINY. I'm not even sure if it would fit him now. It's also not great quality, especially for how much I paid for it. I was really excited about it, but now I'm just mad. The Christmas pjs look small, but they are stretchy and should fit. Hopefully. 

Some days I really wish I was working, but right now, I'm really thankful I'm not.  Between my classes, Caleb's classes, Caleb's work, Wilson, our house, and our weekend commitments, I feel like if we added one more thing to our family plate, we would all lose our minds. I'm really, really, really hoping Caleb finds a job making more money that will allow me to stay home for a bit longer while also giving us more financial breathing room. 

Wilson cut his 7th tooth quite suddenly. He didn't have any signs of teething and I feel like the tooth just appeared over night. His 8th tooth is not being so easy. I can tell it's hurting him and he isn't feeling well. He gets diaper rash and an upset tummy when he teeths, so that is always fun. (Not). 

To top it all off, next week my professor is lecturing on "Breaking Bad". So I have a week to finish a season and a half. I'm slightly annoyed I have to rush thru it. I'm also thoroughly unconvinced of the show's greatness and kinda pissed we are spending a week on it. I'd much rather discuss something else. I realize this is a stupid thing to be mad about, but my bad mood knows no limits. 

Here is Wilson being adorable. 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Wilson -- 12 months

Holy cow. I have a one year old. One! This month has been full of changes and new skills. It almost seems like Wilson knows he is a big boy now and is done with a lot of his "baby" ways. 

- We weighed Wilson 3 weeks ago and he weighed 26 1/2 pounds. I'll guess he will be 27 at his one year well check. I have no idea how tall he is. I will attempt to measure him soon because I'm curious now. 

- We moved up to size 5 diapers, Despite having an almost full box of 4s. He was leaking out of them left and right (and all over me) so i guess we will save all those extra diapers for the next baby. He uses target brand during the day and pampers at night. 

- Clothing sizes are all over the place. 18 month shorts and pants, 24 month or 2t shirts, onesies, or rompers. I'm starting to realize that different stores/brands have very different sizing. He has some 18 month Gap shirts that are almost too big, but 2t from Children's Place or Carter's are just right. Why can't we all agree on uniform sizing? 

- Wilson takes a cupful of milk when he wakes up, after lunch, and before bed. We are adding formula to the last bottle until we run out, which will be pretty soon. Wilson has not batted an eye switching to milk. We were doing a bottle at night, but one night, he straight up refused to put the bottle in his mouth. We  tried putting it in a cup and he was happy.  Something kind of odd; he had a terrible diaper rash that I could not get rid of and the nurse my mom works with suggested we switch to 2% milk instead of whole because of the lactic acid and fat upsetting Wilson's stomach. I didn't think it would work, but dammit if it didn't clear up his diaper rash and keep it away. I know babies need the full fat from milk, so Im going to bring it up with his doctor. 

- Wilson is still a great eater. He has his favorite foods, but he will eat anything. He has 3 meals and a snack everyday. Some favorites are zucchini, broccoli, organic chicken nuggets, pizza, olives, pickles, and any type of bread. I read up on allergens and decided since the AAP says there is no evidence introducing potential allergens increases risk of allergic reaction and we have no family history of food allergies, I decided to let Wilson have eggs, fish, and nuts. He had peanut butter for the first time this month and he loves it. 

- Wilson continues to be an excellent night time sleeper. I hold him while he takes his cup of milk at night. I was rocking him for just a few minutes before bed every night, but he decided he was done with that. He pushes away from me and whines until we put him in his crib. It makes me sad, but I'm glad he want to get in his bed and get comfortable. He goes to bed between 9-9:30 and wakes up between 9-10.

- Naps. O, naps. As well as Wilson sleeps at night, he makes up for being a difficult napper. We cut down to only one mid-day nap from 12:45-3 (give or take and hour). He cannot nap in his crib. He wants me to hold him. I know it's my fault for letting him nap on me for so long, but I know we need to quit. I tried putting him in his crib but he just screams and screams. I think he may have to cry this one out which makes me so sad. 

- Wilson has lots of new skills but he is a bit shy "performing". He dances, he "sings", he makes animal sounds, he waves bye-bye, he points and reaches for things. One thing that has shocked me is that Wilson is a great sharer. He will give anyone who asks a bite of his food, his toys, his books. I think Wilson has my mostly disposition, but sharing is not one of my strong suits. I hope he keeps this up. Kind of makes me want to give him a sibling since he seems to eager to share with others. Kind of. Wilson is also obsessed with putting things back. Like he takes something off a shelf, plays with it, then puts it back. He likes sorting and placing things. We are working on teaching him where his toys belong so our living room won't look like a disaster zone. 

- Likes: books, toys that sing, Daniel Tiger, eating, his family, being tickled, climbing

- Dislikes: diaper changes, being tired, being told no, loud sounds 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Reflections on an (almost) year of motherhood

One year ago today was Wilson's due date. One whole year. I've been a mother for nearly one whole year. That blows my mind just a little. The fact that I'm a mother at all still sometimes blows my mind. 

A whole year. A year ago today, I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. No new parent really does. Of course I read all the books and took the classes, but no one can prepare you for how much parenthood rocks your world. It changes you in ways previously unimaginable. 

This year has been a year of learning. Learning how to change a diaper. Learning how to function on no sleep. Learning to calm down. Learning to let things go. Learning to distinguish between a hungry cry and a sleepy cry. Learning to appreciate 5 whole minutes alone. Learning to give more when I feel like I have nothing left. Learning I'm not perfect. Learning to find the greatest joy in sitting on the couch, reading a book as a family. 

More than anything, learning what it means to truly love. I love Wilson more than I ever thought a person could love. Not only did I learn what it means to love my baby, I also learned to love my husband in new ways. Becoming a family of 3 has definitely changed My relationship with Caleb, but it's all for the better. Not to be judgey, but I really think married couples without children are missing out on something special. 

I think the biggest lesson I've learned throughout this year is that I was meant to do this. I have wanted children for as long as I can remember. I've never had much career ambition, I only wanted to be a mom. While I was pregnant with Wilson, I had a fear that I wouldn't like being a mom or be good at it. I was scared the one thing I had always wanted wouldn't live up to the hype in my head all those years. And honestly, motherhood is so dramatically different than how I imagined. It's a million times harder. But it is also a million times better. There were definitely times I questioned if I could do this, if I could do the stay at home mom thing. But I feel really confident now that I am doing the right thing. I love being Wilson's mom. I love motherhood. I am meant to do this. 

In just a few short days, my baby will be 1. I feel like this is big moment in his life, but really, this is just the first of many, many birthdays. And as big and old as I feel Wilson will be when he turns 1, he will only continue to get bigger and older. But I have a suspicion that no matter how old Wilson is, he will always be my baby. He will always be the baby that made me a mother. I know I will look back on this first year of motherhood for the rest of my life. It has been the hardest and best year I'll ever have. 

I can't wait to see what challenges, surprises, and happiness my second year of motherhood will bring. 

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Wilson lately

I know Wilson's one year update is coming next week but I can't help but write about all the new things Wilson has been doing lately. It feels like he does something new almost everyday and I love watching him learn. 

Wilson learned to wave bye bye a few weeks ago. Instead of waving, he just opens and closes his hand, but he knows what it means. Last night I was waking out the door to go to class and I told him bye and he waved all on his own, without promoting. He mouths the words "buh buh" but doesn't say them out loud. No idea why he won't say it. 

We took Wilson to the Mississippi Children's Museum over the weekend for an early birthday present and he had the best time. He loved being able to run around wherever he wanted and touch everything. He really, really loved around other kids. I think he was more fascinated by the othe kids than anything at the museum. Ever since Saturday, Wilson had been 10 times more talkative than ever. I think picked up on the other kids talking and he wanted to be one of the big kids. He is so funny babbling. And yelling. So much yelling. 

He is saying his first word. Not mama or dada or baba. But dog. His first word is dog. More accurately "daaahhhg". He is constantly chasing Sadie around yelling "daaa daaahhhg daaaahhhg". He also has a touch and feel book about dogs that he calls dog. He has always been an animal lover, so I guess it makes sense his first word reflects that. 

Speaking of books, he is still obsessing over them. He is constantly bringing me books to read to him. His favorite is called "The Very Lazy Ladybug" that has lots of jungle animals in it. We point to all the animals and he makes the animal sounds with me. He can hop like the kangaroo and roar like the lion. Sometimes he will grrrr like the bear or make the monkey noise but not always. Be he knows what to do for the kangaroo and lion. It's pretty amazing how fast he learned that. 

It is so much fun to watch him make such progress. But it also confirms that my baby isn't so much a baby anymore.

Friday, August 22, 2014

It was awesome

I had my first graduate class last night and there are no words to describe how awesome it was. It was so so so good. 

I was a ball of nerves all day yesterday. I knots in my stomach from excitement and stress. I felt really insecure and that I made a huge mistake trying to juggle a masters program and a toddler. I was scared no one would like me and I wouldn't know anyone. I was terrified I wasn't smart enough. I knew the course work would keep me up and take my attention away from my family. 

But despite all that fear, I put on my big girl pants and went to class. And from the moment I saw my professor, all of that fear went away. I adore my professor, who was my undergrad advisor. The man is by far the most brilliant man I know, he is kind, he has a sharp, irreverent wit, and he honestly wants us to learn. I forgot just how much I like him. 

I know several of my classmates already and everyone seemed very friendly. It's a class only 10 women, so that should be interesting. There is one super annoying girl but you know, there is one in every class, it seems. 

I felt on top of the world when I left class last night. I can do this. Not only that, but I can succeed at this. I am going to learn and grow and make myself better. 

I'm so excited now. So pumped. I really kind of forgot what it was like to be someone other than mom. And while that is still my main hat to wear, two nights per week (I switched my classes) I get to be an adult, a grad student. It is awesome. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Sewing 099

That's right. I need sewing 099, as in remedial sewing not even ready for sewing 101. I'm that terrible. 

My instruction booklet, which was tauted as "very helpful" in every online review, might as well be written in Italian. It's like "step one, insert bobbin" and I'm over here like "WTF IS A BOBBIN!???!!?"  It's been a frustrating few days. 

Once I got the machine threaded, I jumped to the "starting to sew" section. Again, more assumptions that I have some sort of basic sewing knowledge. It took me a day to realize that I didn't have to push my fabric through, that the machine will sew a pretty straight line without me doing anything. That revelation made things infinitely better. 

On my third day, since I could thread the machine in minutes AND sew an even seam, I decided to start my first project, Wilson's onesie quilt. I started with this because 1. The tutorial said it was super easy and a great "beginner" project and 2. I really want to give it to Wilson on his birthday. 

I started last night and halfway thru destroying Wilson's baby clothes, I started panicking. What have I gotten myself into? I just ruined probably $100 worth of clothes! What if it doesn't turn out and I have to hear Caleb bitch about how I wasted $100 worth of clothes? 

After cutting nearly 90 squares (only halfway thru realizing my rotary cutter blade was super loose, which is why I wasn't getting straight cuts) I felt so overwhelmed by my project. 

This is normally where I would call it quits. I'm a big giver-upper. I don't tend to stick things out when shit gets tough. 

But I said screw it and started sewing. Even though I had (have) no idea what I was doing. I knocked out two (of 10) rows last night. Are they perfect? Not even close. But that's ok. I shut out the make-it-perfect-or-quit voice inside me. I'm praying it comes together and doesn't look like a 10 year old got loose in Hobby Lobby. But I'm making the damn thing and I will learn the basic functions of my sewing machine. 

Also praying that when Wilson is older, he will appreciate the time, thought, and frustration I put into it. If my liver fails in 20 years, I'm placing a lot of the blame on this project. Wine makes perfection a lot less important. 

Monday, August 18, 2014

A happy place

We had the best weekend. We spent the entire weekend with my Gran in Water Valley and it was just what I needed. It made my heart so happy. Wilson and his Gran got to spend lots of time together. Caleb and I had some fun time for ourselves. 

Saturday we went shopping in Oxford. Belk was having a good sale and I got Wilson 7 pairs of pajama for $20. I would have gotten more, but it was mostly things for little babies or girls. The 24 month boy rack had the smallest selection. We also got Wilson a pair of Nike tennis shoes and a pair of red Chuck Taylor's as his final birthday gifts. They are adorable and he looks so much like a big boy in them. 

My sewing machine was sitting on our doorstep when we got home last night. After it took me an hour to thread it, I got the hang of the very basics. I stayed up way too late playing with it. I'm so excited to make something. 

I've been in a weird mood lately, but I can really feel myself coming out of it. I'm excited for school and all of our upcoming plans. I'm having so much fun with Wilson and even when he drives me crazy, I just love the kid to death and want to be with him always. Caleb and I are in a good, steady, happy place in our marriage. Not that we have been unhappy, but things just feel extra good right now. There is so much going right and to look forward to for our little family. I often struggle with being content with what I have but if I never have anything else in life other than Caleb and Wilson, I think that would be just fine. Well. Caleb, Wilson, and another baby one day. 

Friday, August 15, 2014

5 on Friday!

1. Caleb and I start school Monday! I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. The first day of school has always been a highlight of my year. I get giddy over meeting new teachers and about all the learning and growing. I know that Wilson's first day of kindergarten will be on of my favorite days ever. 

I met with my advisor yesterday. He was also Caleb's advisor for his masters, so that makes me feel a little awkward. Caleb and I are very different types of students. I really don't want to be compared him. 

2. Wilson has become very interested in books. He doesn't like for me to read the words, he only wants to talk about the pictures and make the animal noises. But still. He has shown 0 interest in books before now, which had me slightly worried. Now he will pick a book out of his toy box and bring it to me. He sits in my lap and laughs at my horrible farm animal impressions. He doesn't like to look at the pages in order and is constantly turning the pages back and forth. It's really sweet and I love cuddling together on the couch and reading together. 

3. One of my ongoing personal goals is to become a less picky eater. I was a terribly picky eater as a child and while it did improve some as I got older, I still feel like I don't like a lot of things. I don't eat any seafood or fish. I only truly like a handful of vegetables. I'm really weird about my food's texture. I feel like I'm limiting myself from some great things and being really annoying/immature, so I am actively working on retrying things I don't eat. 

One of the biggest strides I've made is liking sushi. I used to gag at the thought of it. The first time I tried it I almost cried because it was so gross but we were at a nice restaurant so I couldn't spit it out. While I was pregnant, for some strange, hormonal reason, I started craving sushi. We would go out to japanese places and Caleb would order some. I would take a bite and I still didn't really like it. I kept craving it even though I didn't particularly like it. It was weird. 

Since then, I still get a craving for sushi, but I've gotten used to it and I actually enjoy it now. I love it really. We have a Chinese buffet/Mongolian grill that also employs a sushi chef. For $10, it's all you can eat sushi! It's not the fanciest, but it's fresh and tasty. We went there Wednesday and I had probably 3 plate fulls of sushi. It was so satisfying. 

4. We have some nonstop busy weeks a head of us. We have 3 weddings, a birthday party, a vacation, a bridal shower, and an anniversary crammed in the next two months. And as soon as all that is over, it'll be thanksgiving and the holiday season. Whew. It makes me tired thinking about it. 

5. After reading countless reviews and studying over hundreds of pintrest projects, I finally ordered my sewing machine! It should be here Monday and I am so excited to set it up. I don't have any clue how to sew, but I'm looking forward to learning. I've always enjoyed working with my hands and making things. And I really need a hobby. I need something to do just for me and my enjoyment. I think my first project is going to be curtains for the living room. Curtains seem pretty simple. 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Wilson -- 11 months

I think I'm probably going to cry every day between now and Wilson's birthday. I cannot believe my baby is getting so big. I cannot believe he has a whole year of life behind him already. I feel like this year has just gone by in a big blur. I'm just a big puddle of emotions. 

- I'm guessing Wilson weighs around 24.5 pounds. I have no idea how long he is, but I'll guess around 32 inches. 

- Night time sleep is still awesome. He goes to bed awake, but sleepy around 9:30 and sleeps until 9:30-10:30. 

- Naps are still weird. Since he sleeps so late in the mornings, he doesn't take a morning nap. Afternoon nap is always between 1-2 and he sleeps about 2 hours. Sometimes he takes a quick cat nap around 5, but that seems to actually make him more cranky so I try not to let t happen. He still isn't napping in his crib most of the time. 

- We quit day time bottles last week and he is doing great with the switch to cups. He takes 6 ounces of formula with 2 ounces of milk from a cup when he wakes up and again around 4. He likes to watch Sesame Street and lay on the couch while he drinks. At night, we still do an 8 bottle with formula and milk. 

- Wilson is usually a great eater. He has days where he won't eat much, but usually he eats 3 meals and a snack every day. I'm thinking about teaching him to use a spoon soon. Some of his favorite foods are sweet potatoes, deli meat, fish, green peas, broccoli, peaches, bananas, buttered toast and pasta with tomato sauce. 

- He is wearing 18 and 24 month size clothes. Some of his 12 month shorts still fit but all of the t shirts and onesies are way too small. I told everyone to buy him size 2t for fall. I personally like his clothes, especially shirts and onesies to fit bigger. Just seems more comfortable to me. 

- Still in size 4 diapers, but I think we will go to 5s when we run out of 4s. 

- Wilson is doing great with walking. Everyone kept telling me that I was "in trouble" when he started walking, but I think life is much easier now. Wilson seems happier that he can move around for himself so well. I caught him standing on his tip toes today trying to look on the kitchen table. He learned how to stand up from sitting on his own this month. He doesn't have to pull up anymore. 

- Wilson is a pro at making funny noises with his mouth. He Mimics what we do and it's amazing how fast he learns. He clicks his tongue, makes a kissy noise, makes a "bluuubbbbluuuub" sound with his lips, and lots more. He will also growl at us when he chase him around.

- With him imitating sound so well, I would have thought he would be saying more words, but he doesn't. He babbles a lot, but nothing in particular. He says bababa a lot and says mama when he is whiney. He squeals and shrieks when he is happy. 

- Wilson learned to dance this month, though he doesn't dance to most music. Only hip hop really. Caleb blames me for that. He will sometimes "sing" along with Daniel Tiger or Elmo, which is the sweetest thing. 

- Likes: Sadie (the feeling is not mutual), when daddy comes home, evening walks, Elmo and Daniel Tiger, eating

- Dislikes: diaper changes, naps, getting in trouble (like he did in this picture because he tried to eat some dog hair off the couch) 

Monday, August 4, 2014

Monday thoughts

I'm currently sitting in bed eating a huge bowl of sugar free cherry jello and drinking a PBR. It's been that kind of a Monday. 

Wilson had so much fun with his Grammy and grandpa this weekend. Wilson is especially find of my sister in law. We call her Wilson's girlfriend because when she is around, he only has eyes for her. It's adorable. She is going of to college next week (!!!Say what??!!??!!) and I know Wilson will miss her when he goes to visit his grandparents. Clinton is only an hour and a half from here, so I hope we will be able to go visit her sometimes. I'm so excited for my SIL. Freshman year of college was one of the best times of my life and I can't wait for her to experience college life. She is actually going on a sports (soccer/track) scholarship so I hope with all that commitment she still has some free time for shenanigans on the weekends. 

We bought Wilson two birthday gifts and an adorable birthday outfit on Sunday. We got this neat bean bag chair and a toy that he fell in love with last time we were at Walmart. We will probably buy him several more things before his birthday. I really love buying other people gifts and buying Wilson things makes me infinitely happy and excited. 

Wilson will be 11 months tomorrow. I don't know whether to cry or jump for joy. This stage is so much fun. I love playing with him all day. He is developing such a sweet personality. I just love it. I don't want him to grow, but the bigger he gets, the more fun he is. It's a mother's catch 22. 

I start school in 2 weeks! I'm excited but quite anxious. We have such a good family rhythm and routine. I'm scared of messing that up. I'll only have class on Thursday nights because my other classes are online, but still. I'm nervous that it will throw our balance off. Caleb decided to pursue another masters degree instead of the doctoral program. He is starting the geospacial program full time in august, too. I'm glad he decided to do that because a doctoral program would have kept us here for 6-10 more years.  No thank you. After this semester, both of our programs are online, so if we do move, we can both finish online. 

The Mosquitos here are so terrible. I think all this mild weather we have been having has made super mosquitos. I'm covered in welts and poor Wilson has two on his forehead. Whenever we buy a house, a screened in porch will be a necessity. 

These photos have nothing to do with this scatter brained post. And my kid has freakishly long legs. 

Friday, August 1, 2014

This week

I am so ready for this weekend! Wilson has been so clingy and whiney this week. He is cutting a tooth and I know he doesn't feel well, but good god he has tried my patience this week. He is fighting naps and wanting ME to hold him constantly. I even contemplated getting his baby wrap out of the closet, but he is well beyond the weight limit and I figured he would be 10x fussier if he fell out of the wrap. On the bright side, I've gotten in lots of cuddles with Wilson. He is quite the charmer with his little kisses and hugs. 

Wilson is going to spend the night with my mother in law tomorrow. She works in special ed and goes back to school next week. She wanted to keep Wilson before she goes back to work which is fine by me. I know a lot of new parents are hesitant to let their kids spend the night away from home (I was one of them) but I trust my in laws and my parents. I'm very grateful Wilson has such loving and involved grandparents. Having just one night with my husband every month or so is so refreshing and rejuvenating for us. We are going back to our college bar tomorrow for the first time in almost a year. We used to go play trivia (and get wasted) there every Wednesday night. Those days seem like ages ago. 

Yesterday, Wilson had a little left over milk in his cup from the day before. I thought I would just try putting his formula in the cup with the milk to see what happens. To my surprise, Wilson sat on the couch with me and drank most of it. I did the same thing in the afternoon, and he took it again like it was no big deal. So, if things keep up, we are bottle free during the day now!!!!! I'm still doing the night time one just because it's a big part of Wilson's night time routine. And the routine is working for us and I do not want to mess that up. Our walmart quit carrying the only cup he will use (of course) so I've been searching for them everywhere. I'm hoping target will have them. 

We officially booked Wilson birthday party at a pizza place in Southaven. I am so excited. I'm trying to find a cute birthday shirt or outfit for him to wear and we still aren't sure what his gift from us will be. I can't wait for future birthdays when Wilson will be just as excited as I am. I've always been a big fan of celebrating birthdays (or birthday weeks) and it'll be nice to have someone else share in my excitement. 

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Let's talk baby names

First, I AM NOT PREGNANT! We are NOT "trying" (I hate that expression). While we find ourselves talking about baby #2 quite a bit, there are certain things Caleb and I both want to accomplish before we add another little person to our family. Just so we are clear. 

I love talking about baby names. I'm not sure why I find them so fascinating, but I love them. And I won't lie, I will seriously judge you based on your baby's name. 

I think most couples having babies these days want an original or unique name for their baby. I get that. I did, too.  But there are two major groups. Those who want an unique "new" (Jaiden, Aria)  name and those who want an unique "old" name (Wyatt, Ruby). I'm most definitely in the latter group. 

So I thought I would share some of my favorite baby names. We are 90% set on baby #2's name if it is a boy. For a girl, we cannot agree on anything! We know for sure that we want to use family names, so that eliminates A LOT of my favorites. I'm ok with that but I'll still always have a soft spot for certain names. 

Family names marked with an * 



Those are some of my favorites. Who knows what baby #2's name will actually be. We were 99% set on another name for Wilson up until the moment we weren't. Sometimes things just click and you realize the baby in your belly has a name you've never considered but it feels just right. 

Monday, July 28, 2014

The weekend

I'm currently rocking Wilson for his nap and praying the ATT man doesn't come and wake him up. Our neighbors cut down some limbs this weekend and cut our internet cables. Thankfully we were gone all weekend, so we didn't miss the internet. But I depend on netflix to entertain Wilson long enough for me to shower and something crazzzyyy just happened on my show and I NEED to know what happens. Hopefully the cable man will come this evening and fix it quickly. 

We had a great weekend in Southaven. We stayed with my parents Saturday and Caleb's Missouri family got in on Sunday. Wilson had so much fun with everyone. He got to see all of his grandparents, half of his great grandparents, his aunt and uncles plus all the cousins (I'm not exactly sure of their proper relations to Wilson. Great aunt? Third cousins? I don't know. It gets confusing.) from Missouri. Wilson can be a little shy around new people at first, but as soon as he warms up, he is the biggest show out. I think he already knows he is the center of attention. 

I didn't get in the pool this time, but Wilson had so much fun watching everyone else play while he splashed in his float. 

Wilson made friends with my mother in laws huge cat. The cat probably weighs just as much as Wilson but the cat was so gentle with Wilson. Wilson is pretty good at being gentle and soft but at one point he had the cat in a headlock trying to give him a hug. So funny. 

I mentioned to my patent that I was thinking about getting Wilson a small chair for his birthday when my dad went and pull this out of the attic. This was my rocking chair when I was little (there's no doubt because I engraved my name all over the arms of the chair). It's a little big for Wilson right now, but he likes sitting in it. I can just imagine him a little older, rocking and looking a his books on our (future home's) front porch. It melts my heart. The chair is in really good condition and is quite sturdy so maybe one day my grand kids will be using it, too.