Monday, January 27, 2014

Do we want another baby?

If you had asked me if I wanted another child 6 months ago while I was pregnant with Wilson, I would have said "no". 

If you had asked me 5 months ago while the memories of my panic attack filled c-section and the subsequent recovery process were still fresh, I would have said "O HELL NO!!!"

If you asked me 3 months ago when we found our new normal and started a new routine, I would have said "I don't think so". 

If you asked me 2 months ago when Wilson started smiling and cooing, I would have said "maybe one day". 

And if you had just asked me a few weeks ago, I would have let you know that, yes, we want another baby in our family. 

While I was pregnant, I seriously thought that Wilson would be our only baby. Just the three of us in life. But the more I thought about Wilson being an only child, the more sad it made me. Caleb and I each have two siblings and we are both close with our brothers. The thought of Wilson missing out on that bond his whole life makes me sad. I want him to have a play mate, a best friend, someone to beat up and boss around, a companion through his entire life, family other than his dad and me. Wilson already seems like such the typical "first born" and I want him to get to be a big brother. I know he will be the best. 

And I would really love to be pregnant again. I loved being pregnant. I was the happiest I think I have ever been. I felt beautiful and strong. Feeling my baby move inside me was the absolute best feeling in the world. It was such a happy time for me and I would jump at the chance to do it again. 

Caleb is still slightly unsure of the idea. He definitely wants Wilson to have a sibling, but he isn't the biggest fan of the newborn period. But it's such a short time of no sleep and craziness. And the more Wilson grows and learns, the more fun Caleb has with him and the more Caleb sees what fun two might be. 

I am for sure not saying we are jumping on the baby making bandwagon right now. No way. But in a year or two, it's something that I think we both want. Just one more. Hopefully a boy because we have a name picked out.  ;) 

1 comments:

  1. My husband and I have had this conversation so many times... whether we want another one. Honestly, I hated being pregnant. Hated it. Hated the weight gain. Hated being uncomfortable all the time. But the biggest thing is the financial aspect of raising another child and the cost of quality childcare. That's enough to make me say no. Paying 400-500 a month for one child... and the thought of doubling that. Ouch!

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