Thursday, September 25, 2014

That time I almost became an anti vaxxer

Wilson had 5 shots Monday at his one year well check. Five fucking shots. Seven different immunizations. Seven. It was horrible. Just terrible. I knew he would be getting shots, but five??!!?? That is a lot for a little person. 

Wilson has never had any bad reactions to shots before. He doesn't run fever or have soreness or be especially whiney. He has never had any side effects. 

So even though his little body was poked in every limb, I figured he would be ok. Man, I underestimated. 

Monday night Wilson was a little clingy, but nothing major. We gave him a preventative dose of Tylenol around 8 and put him to bed. Around 3, I heard Wilson whimper but he quieted down quickly until around 4. He started really crying so I went to check on him. When I went to him was one of the scariest and most upsetting moments of motherhood I have had so far. 

Wilson's checks were bright red. He was drenched in sweat. I mean clothes and sheets soaked in sweat. He was on his belly and couldn't move. His limbs hurt so much he couldn't move. Literally. When I picked him up he screamed in pain. And he was BURNING up. 

I was terrified. Wilson has never been sick, so this was the first time I had ever seen my child not well. I felt so panicked and helpless. My adrenaline kicked in and  I left like I went into mama bear mode. 

First we striped his clothes and checked all over his body. Thankfully no rashes or severe swelling. I took Wilson's temperature as best as he would let me and it climbed up to 102. 102. So so so scary. 

I grabbed some water in his cup and a cool wash rag and tried to calm Wilson by rocking him. I made Caleb call the 24 nurse line. A super nice nurse talked us through what is considered "normal" for vaccine reactions. He told us to give pain/fever meds every 4 hours and call the doctor in the morning. 

Wilson slept in our bed the rest of the night. Right next to me. There was no way I was letting him out of my sight. He slept very fitfully for several hours. And he sweat so much. I was soaked. But finally around 8, he fell into a good sleep and slept until nearly noon. 

On Tuesday, he was so sore he couldn't hardly move. He wouldn't put weight on his legs or turn over. Even the lightest touch sent him into tears. He took a four and a half hour nap that day. He moped and laid around all day and night and ran a 99 degree fever most of the day. 

Wednesday he seemed better, at least physically. The fever went away and much of the soreness seemed to be gone. He was still mopey and whiney but he had a bit more energy. 

Today, he still doesn't quite seem back to his old self. He wanted to be held a lot. He sat in my lap and watched Daneil Tiger for nearly an hour, which NEVER happens. He doesn't have hardly any appetite. He cries over nothing. He looks really sullen and tired, even after his 3 hour nap. He is just off. 

As a mom, it is hard to see my baby in pain. It's hard to know he doesn't feel well. I want more than anything in the world to make it better. 

I know Wilson is so incredibly lucky to live in a place where vaccines are easily and readily available. I also know that watching my baby suffer from the measles or the flu would be a million times worse than dealing with the side effects of the immunizations. I love vaccines. I think they are great. 

But I almost understand why some parents don't give them to their children. These side effects Wilson has are pretty serious, but considered "normal". I have a hard time with feeling like my baby burning up with fever is normal. It is hard. I'm not advocating not vaccinating, but I can see how someone less informed (or misinformed) could  see these side effects and think "no way". 

Hopefully Wilson will be feeling back to normal soon. I miss my happy, rambunctious little boy. I'm also contemplating making him a bubble boy because I never want him to be sick ever again. It is the absolute worst. 


  1. This terrifies me. Blake's appointment is Monday :( ahhhh. He's always had reactions to shots. Well, it turns out it's not the shots but the alcohol pads used to clean the skin but still. I'm glad Wilson is feeling better. A 102 temp would have scared me too